Shallow Musings


One of these days I am going to disappear from civilization and nobody will question about where I went or even remember who I was.

I am okay with that.


Jessie | 22 | Malaysian

I'm a part time engineering student, full time worrier thinker.


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Approximately one year ago around this month, I was really worried about securing an internship. Most of my friends had already received their confirmations. On the other hand, I was one of those kids who were still desperately and frantically searching and applying for all sorts of companies and factories. 

I prayed hard and I kept on trying. Many phone calls were made and even more emails were sent. Finally, a company replied and expressed some interest in taking me in as an intern. But first, I had to be interviewed. Apparently there were two departments in the company which needed an intern; the Research & Innovation Dept and the Boiler Dept. I had to be interviewed twice. I also recall having to sit for some sort of maths, IQ and aptitude test. The wait for a reply was truly agonizing. It was worth the wait though. After two weeks of waiting, I was accepted as an intern under the Boiler Department.

After sitting for my final exam in June, I then went to work for the first time in my life. A real job. Oh man. The first day was quite boring. I spent most of my time sitting in the office doing mostly nothing. Both my supervisors were not around on that day. I ended up wondering around the factory and meeting other interns.I made some new friends. Ah. I forgot to mention. The factory I was working at was a glove-making company.

The factory compound was huge and as interns we were given the freedom to explore the ins and outs of the factory by ourselves. Apart from that, every intern were given specific tasks and some short term projects to be done before the end of our internships. Days and weeks went by, and soon, my internship was drawing near to its end. I had completed most of my projects by then, and I was told to prepare myself in order to present my findings to the head of my factory. Yes. HEAD OF FACTORY. No joke. 

It had been almost a year ago, but I can still remember the things I presented. I also remember that I did quite well. In fact, I felt really happy and proud of myself. I left that place with many new friends and all kinds of memories. Some were really good, and some were awful. It was a very unique experience indeed. 

Wait. Why am I talking about this?

Asker Anonymous Asks:
how far in life are you to realize that it is a very complex mix of turn of events choices and luck?
magitekmuser magitekmuser Said:

Where do I even begin?

Well, I have been alive for almost 23 years now. Would you consider that a long time? I’ve had my share of life-changing stuff along the years. They may not be much, but it certainly made me realize that there is still a long journey ahead of me and life would only get tougher.

I believe that as life gets tougher and more complicated, we can somehow get better at handling it. However, it is sad to say that most of us keep going on until we feel lost and hopeless. Even I have encountered this problem time and again. It helps to have your own support system. Trusted friends and family members can provide tremendous help and comfort in times of hopelessness.  

Usually we can’t know for sure that the choice we have made is the right one until we experience the outcomes. Of course we can always imagine the possible implications of our choices in our minds. But let’s face the truth; whatever happens in real life will not always be what we have pictured in our minds, simply because there are so many factors and variables involved and some (or most!) of them are out of our control.

Life can be unpredictable, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t manageable. It isn’t the end until the day you die.

I don’t know what else to say. I hope that I somehow answered your question. (I tried!)

Alana Bloom is really pissing me off.

What happened to her? HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLIND, WOMAN?

UGH. Here comes another week of waiting for a new episode. *sigh*


breakfast introductions

(via hannibooty)

"When the urge to do it is so overwhelming it consumes you, will you finally do it?"

Death is a choice. Or so it seems.

Everybody dies anyway, one way or another. Since that is the case, death isn’t a choice anymore.

However, the method of dying can be manipulated.  

Is suicide within or beyond our control? Is it actually for us to decide, or is it a fact that some people are destined to die because of suicide? Is that even logical?

I may not know this person very well, but it doesn’t make this news any less shocking. I knew him from matriculation college. He was an okay guy. 

Why’d you do what you did, John? 

We can choose when to end our lives. Or so we think. 

What if it was already part of a bigger picture in the first place?

At the end of the dispute, nobody was qualified to be declared the victor.

Two losers retreat to their respective bases; one with an aching and broken heart, and the other with an angry and broken spirit.

Both longed for reconciliation, but neither was willing to apologize to the other.

Day and night they looked out to the sky, wishing that the other was doing the same.

Both were looking for something. Perhaps what they needed was a sign.

A sign to forgive and forget.

A sign to remind them of the close companionship they used to have; slowly destroyed by disputes such as the one they had previously.

Both parties are stubborn and refuse to acknowledge their weaknesses.

They are such fools.

I really hate being forced. Stop it please. Decision has been made, why are you still pushing me to change my mind?

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Do you still play Dead Frontier?
magitekmuser magitekmuser Said:

No… I’m not even sure my character still exists :\ 

Edit: I tried logging in. Azeroth still exist. She won’t be killing any zombies for the time being though.

A list of stuff:

  1. Watch Hannibal season 2. I’ve been exposed to a lot of spoilers on r/HannibalTV T_T
  2. Work in my final year project. NEED PROGRESS.
  3. Complete my pokedex. Current dex entry: Pathetic. 
  4. Go home more often.
  5. Buy more games. (I need more money to accomplish this though…)
  6. Practice more self control. 
  7. Don’t take friends and family for granted.
  8. Eat healthier stuff.
  9. I’m out of stuff to list out.
  10. Bye.

Better late than never.

I never knew I could love an inanimate object so much. It’s blue and plain, but I love it nonetheless.

It’s slowly creating a hole in my bank account too. Stupid impulse purchase of games. Gah.

Give me back my voice. I sound funny.

There’s nobody to share my excitement with.

Maybe that’s why living is becoming such a chore. 

There isn’t much to look forward to except work, work and more work. 

Don’t expect me to care about your excitement now. 

Why do you always have to feel like this at the beginning of every semester?

Discouraged, sluggish, and lazy.

I’m kinda scared of the end. Still no clear idea of what’s going to happen. Where I’ll go and what I’ll be doing. Is this just a phase or will I be facing a lot more of this…?

“Run my dog, run!”

Ah. This reminds of the part where Boney drags Duster.
Too funny. 

Run my dog, run!

Ah. This reminds of the part where Boney drags Duster.

Too funny.