I just “liked” someone’s post about their ass. (wait what? must be the sleep deprivation getting to me).
I’m here because I have nowhere to go to in order to release the cluster of thoughts that is growing uncontrollably in my head. It has rendered me useless for the past few weeks. Simply put, I have been spending too much time in my head I have gotten so freaking unproductive and all the work has piled up and the deadlines are going to kill me unless if I decide to give myself a deadline first (ha).
On another note, my broken wrist is healing well, if I do say so myself. I don’t like the scar. It’s huge and bright pink especially after showers. Apart from the aesthetic appearance of it, my wrist / lower arm hurts less now. In fact I am able to lift light objects such as my water bottle. Besides that, I’m also able to do stuff like fold my blanket, wash my hair, eat with a spoon and a fork and so on. Its funny how this incident made me realize that I have been taking all that for granted; you know, the ability to do stuff with two functional hands (it’s not funny actually).
Hmmm. Right now I’ve got to get my thesis proposal done on time. And then there’s that darn plant design report which is always there to torture us. There’s also a couple of other things but I can’t even recall what they are. *sigh*
Such is life of a final year student.
Sleep deprived; Sleep deprived; Sleep deprived.
Where did all my time go? I don’t even have enough time to sleep?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
(Happy. haha. What’s that suppose to mean?)
Is this how its gonna be for nights to come? Waking up in pain in the middle of the night?
Growing dependent on painkillers like Dr. Gregory House…?
Patient opposite of me passed away. Suddenly I start to wonder; how many people has died on this very hospital bed that I’m sitting on?
The recent incident makes me wonder; if I was not attached to any group work, nor if I had any people whom I generally hang out with, would anyone know that I got into an accident recently?
Why does it matter whether or not people care? Why does it bother me? Why should it anyway?
I am flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow; a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapour in the wind.
A person whom I care deeply about told me recently that they were having suicidal thoughts.
I feel hopeless, and I don’t know what to do to help this person.
Heck, I didn’t even know how to help my own self when I was suicidal. I locked myself in my room, I refused to eat, and I refused to talk to anyone. All I could do was cry and think of things that made me hate myself more.
Being suicidal is no joke. Its a vicious cycle.
How oh how could I help my friend? :(
I have no life; I kid you not.